A contemporary romance short by Allyson Lindt
A snowflake landed on the camera lens, melting to a tear-shaped drop in an instant. She thought about brushing it away, until a small smattering joined it. The effect was poetic. Dakota decided to leave them there.
She pulled the viewfinder away from her eye, needing to watch her footsteps as she crunched through the snow. She picked her way carefully around the tombstones, not wanting to disturb the full-time residents of the graveyard.
A stone cherub caught her attention. Wingtips covered with white powder and right arm missing below the elbow. Focusing her camera on the pudgy stone, she snapped a few shots.
“A cemetery? Really? Cliché much?” A familiar male voice cut through the winter still.
She cringed at the volume of Todd’s comment, imagining it shaking ice off the otherwise barren trees. He wasn’t speaking loudly, but it was the only sound in the afternoon snowfall. She didn’t turn to face him, searching the landscape for another subject. Her response was soft. “It’s appropriate. I’m dead inside.”
Todd’s sigh echoed off stone markers. “You’re going to freeze out here, Codi.”
“I don’t care.” She knew she was being melodramatic but reason had evaporated hours ago. Right about the time she was served with the divorce papers. She had cried until it hurt inside, even though she knew it was coming. Sobbed until her eyes were raw and her gut ached. The dull pain was still there and she was hoping the chill of the graveyard would make her numb.
“I’m sorry.” His apology made her cringe.
She took a deep breath, reminding herself she was finished crying. The thought of the pity that must be in his brown eyes just then – he’d always been easy to read – made it difficult. She still didn’t face him. “How did you find me? Why did you find me?”
“Heh.” His chuckle was clipped. “I didn’t mean to. I was driving and thinking. I saw your car in the parking lot.”
A gust of wind blew strands of blond across her face. She shivered and hugged herself, trying to restore some warmth to her arms. If he had been driving and thinking it meant the whole thing was having an impact on him as well. She hated knowing that. It made things that much more difficult. “You should have kept driving.”
His hands rested on her hips, his voice closer and softer. “I know. But I couldn’t. Talk to me?”
“No.” Her voice cracked on the single syllable. She couldn’t. That was the problem. It wasn’t that they had already said it all. That had never stopped them before. It was that he wasn’t the right person to dump on. He was her best friend. He’d been there for her through everything from her first broken heart in junior high to her most recent promotion at work. She’d done the same for him. And now she couldn’t talk to him about the one thing that hurt more than anything.
“Then don’t.” He tugged, trying to spin her around. “At least go home. Drink something hot. Add a shot of Bailey’s to it if you want. Just don’t stand out here and freeze.”
A few tears leaked onto her cheeks, freezing in the growing storm. Why wouldn’t he leave? “I’ll think about it.”
“Think about it in your car?”
His concern was eating at her. Reopening wounds she’d tried to close too many times. She hated the people who glorified best friend romances. The friends at their wedding three years ago who told them how lucky they were to have each other. The commercials made to sell expensive gifts that profited from such relationships. And she hated him. “Fine.”
She brushed past him, cringing as she caught a comforting whiff of his cologne. The same kind he’d worn since they were juniors in high school. She wanted to fall into his arms and sob. To tell him all about how she and her husband were splitting up because they just didn’t love each other. Not like that. And she couldn’t because he was her husband.
Dakota clicked the locks off on her SUV as she approached, yanking the back door open to drop off her purse and camera. She could hear his footsteps behind her and knew he was going to make sure she left.
It had been a mutual decision. After months of talking, they had agreed it was the best way to go. The rational part of her mind knew that. But she didn’t want to be alone. She didn’t like the thought of waking up to an empty bed every morning. She knew it couldn’t work without love, but she still missed him.
She spun away from the car, swinging the door shut behind her. She stopped, breath catching when she realized how close he stood.
He pulled the glove off his right hand and reached up, thumb brushing cold tears from her cheeks. His brow furrowed. “I’m so sorry.”
She nodded, not able to speak, and threw her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest.
He held her while she sobbed, whispering empty words of comfort and trailing his fingers through her hair.
When she thought she had regained control, she took a few deep breaths and pulled away. She looked up, meeting his gaze for the first time since he had arrived. His eyes widened in surprise and then fluttered shut when she kissed him. He tasted like Mountain Dew and bubblegum, and she sank into the familiar moment. His tongue slid along her bottom lip and she accepted the invitation, mouth parting.
They stumbled backward until her back met the car. One of them moaned. Or maybe it was both of t
hem, she wasn’t sure. She knew what to do to keep him there. They’d been together long enough that she knew where his buttons were, but not so long that she’d worn them out.
She rubbed against him, the friction chasing away the cold as the wind howled around them. Her skin burned everywhere his lips brushed, and she leaned into him further.
His hand slid under her coat and sweatshirt, the cold flesh gliding up her hot back. His teeth grazed her neck and then her ear. His growing arousal pressed through his jeans, throbbing against her hip.
Sliding her hand down his side, she hooked her thumb under the waist of his pants and traced a line around his waist. She shifted again, grinding against him. Her body ached for more as his hands explored as much as possible without exposing her to the elements.
His lips brushed her ear, warm breath falling across her skin. “I want you so much.”
She moaned and fumbled for the handle, trying to open the car door. She succeeded and stumbled backwards, ass landing on the bench seat. The need spoke to her, but something else whirred in the back of her head.
Todd followed her, straddling her legs and hovering over her. Gusts of snow whistled around them as he unzipped her coat and slid his hands up her shirt.
The sensation summoned every memory she had with him. When they’d finally started dating. Their honeymoon. The last night they’d spent together before the big decision.
She frowned, rationale mixing with lust and emptiness. Something clicked inside and she realized she had made a terrible mistake.
“What’s wrong?” His breathy question warmed her neck.
“I want you too,” she whispered.
“That’s a bad thing?” His thumb brushed the bottom of her breast, the satin of her bra caressing her skin.
She leaned her head back, enjoying the sensation of his mouth on her throat. “No. Except it means we have to stop.”
He pulled away, frown matching hers. “Huh?”
She scooted into an upright position, feet dangling outside the car. Grabbing the front of his jacket, she pulled him closer so he was standing between her legs. “I was wrong.”
His fingers played along her spine. “About?”
She smiled. “About not loving you. I do. More than anything. If what we have isn’t love, it doesn’t exist, and I don’t know why we ever let that stupid marriage counselor convince us otherwise.”
He kissed her collarbone, hand dipping beneath her waist. “Because you never could say no to your sister. So why are we stopping?”
Smile growing, she gave him a gentle push. It ached to say what she needed, but it was a different kind of agony. The tingling in her skin screamed with longing. “Because you need to feel the same for it to matter. And it can’t be tied to whether or not you get to screw me in the back of my Jeep.”
“My car doesn’t have much of a backseat.” He tried to nuzzle her neck.
She placed her fingers on his lips, pushing him back again. “Todd. Seriously.”
He straightened up, studying her. “You suck. You know that? I’ve got a raging hard-on and all I can think about is how good it would feel to have you riding it.”
The directness of his comment made her flush, but he’d always had that affect on her. “Not someone else?”
“No.” He pressed closer again, nibbling her earlobe, voice soft. “You. But I want you back, even if it means I never get to touch you again. I love you. I was wrong when I said I didn’t.”
She felt fresh tears prick her eyelids, the emotion of the day giving the confession more weight than it normally would have.
He pulled back, studying her face. “What did I do now?”
Instead of answering she wrapped her fingers in his hair and pulled him close again, kissing him hungrily. She wrapped her legs around his waist, grinding against him. He gasped when they broke apart. She smiled, catching her bottom lip between her teeth while she studied him. “Call the lawyer tomorrow?”
“Let me have my way with you tonight?”
She pursed her lips, struggling to maintain the strained look. “One can’t hinge on the other.”
He looked her in the eye, face serious. “I promise it’s not. Tear up the paperwork. Go home and sleep alone tonight if it makes you feel better. As long as you have coffee with me in the morning.”
She kissed him again, relief flooding through her. She felt better than she had in months.