It’s All A Matter of Perspective

And no, this isn’t a post about character POV…not directly anyway.

I am terrified of negativity. I hate hurting people’s feelings, I don’t like horror movies (though really that’s more the graphic violence, phsycological horror is fine), and I cringe at the thought of negative feedback.

It was something that made me hesitate when entering ABNA. What if I get to a round where feedback is provided? What if it’s cruel and crushes my soul? What if, what if, what if?

Because I’m kind of mental like that.

Also related to ABNA, I’ve been wondering what the general consensus is around querying agents while you’re still part of the competition. I will say I read the rules for the contest and it’s not forbidden. It says agented authors are welcome to enter, as long as they acknolwedge it’s the author accepting the terms, not the agent. And it says Penguin has first rights if you decide to publish, for as long as your manuscript is in the contest.

I found this: Ask Daphne! About that other contest…. And the short answer is yes, it’s okay.

But while I was searching, I also found a lot of references to what a soul crushing experience it can be to enter ABNA. Blog after blog (okay, only like 3 or 4 in the first 3 pages of my search) saying how they’d gotten their feedback and it was disheartening and rude and they were never entering the competition again.

And my heart sank and this was me: ~_~

But one kind person posted the feedback they received, along with a similar note. And I read it. And I raised an eyebrow. And I read it again.

And I have to say that

The ‘I liked this’ stuff was very complimentary, and
The ‘this needs work’ stuff was tame compared to what my critique partners tell me.

And as Ay put it, “that’s not bad feedback. Bad feedback is ‘this made me want to poke my eyes out with a fork so I’d never have to read something like this again. Please, for the love of Loki, don’t contact us again, and find a new hobby while you’re at it.”

And she’s right. That’s actually negative feedback. And if I got that, it would probably be time to throw in the towel anyway.

What scares you most about the querying process besides rejection?

3 Comments

Kate Larkindale on February 17, 2011 at 5:39 pm

Having just received my 18th rejection, I have to say my biggest fear is never making it. What happens if I keep working at this, churning out novel after novel, revising until my fingers bleed and never manage to get an agent or a publishing deal? After having shopped my book around for almost 2 years, I’m beginning to see that as being a reality. And it’s almost enough to make me give it up and get some sleep.

Tanya Reimer on February 17, 2011 at 9:14 pm

Sometimes, I wonder if I’m more afraid of being accepted than the rejections. I mean, I really really want this, but in a way, it already has justified itself.

My life is perfect. It really is. What if all that changes because I was so lucky that I got a book deal?

Could I meet deadlines? Will I be able to work with editors? What will my priest say when he sees my name on a book with a seducer luring in a demon??? Yikes, what was he doing looking at that anyway! I might end up in hell afterall.

Yeah, I’m kinda mental like that too. LOL.

So far, I’ve only gotten a dozen rejections, but I’m taking my time, in no hurry, I learn from each one. Will I be happy to say in thirty years, that I did all could and didn’t make it?
Yup. I feel like I already made it. I wrote 10 books. Me. I have the attention span of a fish. I love them all, even the ones that suck, because I did it.

Maybe it’s how you look at it, not for how long.

Dawn Embers on February 18, 2011 at 1:28 am

Honestly, the thing I’m worried about the most is getting a publishing deal but only if I change my character’s sexual orientation. It would hurt to have to turn down a deal for that reason but I would have to. Rejections haven’t been bad so far, but I only have sent a couple of stories.

I don’t mind criticism and at this point, I would almost like to get some because I’m guessing it would help me more than “this is good.” The worse I’ve gotten is the whole “x-men rip-off” comment and then someone thinking a erotic scene from my 2008 novel was non-consensual. The last one was a little rude in how she said it and took several months before I went back and realized what she actually meant. So, even when the comments are rude, some space can help to see what the person was trying to say. Or it can just be ignored.

Kate Larkindale on February 17, 2011 at 5:39 pm

Having just received my 18th rejection, I have to say my biggest fear is never making it. What happens if I keep working at this, churning out novel after novel, revising until my fingers bleed and never manage to get an agent or a publishing deal? After having shopped my book around for almost 2 years, I’m beginning to see that as being a reality. And it’s almost enough to make me give it up and get some sleep.
Tanya Reimer on February 17, 2011 at 9:14 pm

Sometimes, I wonder if I’m more afraid of being accepted than the rejections. I mean, I really really want this, but in a way, it already has justified itself.

My life is perfect. It really is. What if all that changes because I was so lucky that I got a book deal?

Could I meet deadlines? Will I be able to work with editors? What will my priest say when he sees my name on a book with a seducer luring in a demon??? Yikes, what was he doing looking at that anyway! I might end up in hell afterall.

Yeah, I’m kinda mental like that too. LOL.

So far, I’ve only gotten a dozen rejections, but I’m taking my time, in no hurry, I learn from each one. Will I be happy to say in thirty years, that I did all could and didn’t make it?
Yup. I feel like I already made it. I wrote 10 books. Me. I have the attention span of a fish. I love them all, even the ones that suck, because I did it.

Maybe it’s how you look at it, not for how long.
Dawn Embers on February 18, 2011 at 1:28 am

Honestly, the thing I’m worried about the most is getting a publishing deal but only if I change my character’s sexual orientation. It would hurt to have to turn down a deal for that reason but I would have to. Rejections haven’t been bad so far, but I only have sent a couple of stories.

I don’t mind criticism and at this point, I would almost like to get some because I’m guessing it would help me more than “this is good.” The worse I’ve gotten is the whole “x-men rip-off” comment and then someone thinking a erotic scene from my 2008 novel was non-consensual. The last one was a little rude in how she said it and took several months before I went back and realized what she actually meant. So, even when the comments are rude, some space can help to see what the person was trying to say. Or it can just be ignored.