Two weekend posts in a row for me…but it will make up for the next week. I’m on vacation and probably won’t do my regular weekday posts – but we’ll see how inspired I am each morning…
I had to participate in this blogfest, though. It’s being run by the awesomeness frosted Dawn Embers over at It’s in the Book. Today the characters are new…no Uriel’s Fall or Serious Game 2.0. Just a simple YA one-shot. (which also means its kind of raw/unpolished)
Aubry scuffed her feet along the concrete path. The world drifted by without recognition while she cut through the park. A patch of wildflowers in the grass caught her eye and she bent to pick a white one. She grasped a single petal between her fingers, careful not to sever it with her manicured nails. The gesture brought to mind a memory of the past, of much simpler times.
“He loves me,” a five year-old version of herself chanted, plucking petals from a daisy. “He loves me not.”
Her gestures mimicked the memory, pulling the satin-soft tabs from their home one-by-one. “He loves me,” she muttered.
Twelve year old Aubry stood at the back of the Junior High baseball field, the metal chain link of the fence biting into her back through her over-sized T-shirt. As she choked back the tears, a voice startled her.
“Hey, Toad.” Izzy’s face appeared in front of hers. “What’s wrong?”
She sniffled, running the back of her hand across her cheeks. “Nothing.”
“Nothing doesn’t make you cry.” His brown eyes studied her with concern.
“I’m never going to find a boyfriend.” Her voice shook as she struggled not to cry again. “I’m going to be alone forever.”
He grinned and pulled her into a hug. “We’re way too young to be thinking about stuff like that. Besides, I’ll always be here for you.”
“He loves me not.” Aubry plucked another petal, watching it drift to the ground.
Fourteen year-old Aubry stared back at her best friend in disbelief, not believing the words she’d just heard. “What do you mean, you have a date?”
His cheeks flushed with excitement, a silly grin covering his face. “Sue wants me to meet her at the dance tonight. Isn’t that amazing? All the other guys will be so jealous. She’s the hottest girl in the school.”
A tiny sob rose in the back of her throat as another petal fluttered away in the wind. “He loves me.”
It was Senior Prom; she’d made it. The years of agony and grief caused by high school would be behind her in just a few months, and here she was with the most wonderful guy in the world on her arm.
Aubry smiled up at Izzy, loving the way he looked in his rented tux. She knew several pairs of jealous eyes were on them as they strolled from the gym, and she didn’t care. She leaned into his shoulder, letting out a tiny sigh when his arm wrapped around her waist.
She didn’t resist when he steered her toward a dark corner of the school, but she did wonder if he could hear her hammering heart. She draped her arms around his neck as he pushed her back against the wall, heart soaring when he finally kissed her.
A bitter laugh escaped as Aubry plucked the last petal from the flower. “He loves me not.”
Izzy pulled back, giving her a look she couldn’t identify. “I’m sorry Toad, I can’t do this.”
She frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“I want to, believe me I do. Nothing would make me happier than to feel about you the way you do about me. And I figured if anyone could change things, it would be you. I adore you. But I can’t do this.”
She felt a sinking feeling in her gut. “Why not?”
“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I’m gay.”
Aubry let go of the barren stem, watching it drop to the sidewalk like a tiny, lead weight. She ground it out with the toe of her sneaker, smearing it across the concrete, wondering if that poor little girl she’d been at five would have been better off if she’d walked away the first time the chant had ended at ‘Loves me not.’
Oh yeah! I love it. Great entry.
Well done. Those moments are hard on both people involved. I’ve seen teens on the boys side as well since I volunteered with glbtq teens.
I love the use of the flower. While doing that in story telling can sometimes pull the reader out of the story too much, I think the way it was used here really enhanced the story.
Excellent entry for my blogfest and thanks for your kinds words. Mia called me effervescent and you have me as awesomeness frosted. I don’t know if I can handle all the nice words about me. *blushes*
Lovely, lovely! Teenage sadness is so raw and you’ve written it beautifully.
I really like the simplicity of this. You’ve managed to cover a lot of years very economically and kept a strong motif running through it.
Ah, man! She was so happy! I feel for them both…great post.
Hi,
Oh, what a bummer! Sweet memories and bitter end. Nicely written and full of emotion. 😉
best
F
Wow! This is a great entry…as I just came out of teenhood, it’s easy for me to relate to these characters. I like the alternation of the different periods of time.
~TRA
http://xtheredangelx.blogspot.com
Well hey, at least he’s gay and not just NOT into her 🙂
This was a beautiful excerpt! Great writing.
Awww that was a wonderful entry and a little sad. *sniffs*
Awww that’s so sad. Wonderful entry but sad. poor girl.
Using the flower is such a brilliant idea–it really pulled me into the story. Great writing!
I love the time-shifting and, as Dawn pointed out, the use of the flower! Brilliant, a perfect build up for something perhaps heartbreaking for them both. Neither can please the other.
🙂
Gah! I wrote this really cool comment then my internet gave out on me and now I can’t remember what I said… Ok so Take 2….
I love the way you set this up, the daisy petals falling one by one, memories zooming by, hope coming and going, and then, CRACK, the heart is broken!!
Love it!!
T.x
I love the imagery of the petals falling, of each one bringing forward a memory. I think the wanted and being unwanted is something everyone can relate to in one way or another. It was really well done.
Ouch! The flower petals really punctuated the story. Great.
Oh that one got me *pats chest* right here…