*Waves* welcome to anyone from the A-Z challenge who’s stopping by. It’s nice to meet you all ^_^. I don’t know how quickly I’ll make it through the list of over 800 participants, but I will make it a point to visit anyone who comments on my posts and has their blog linked to in their profile. If you don’t have your blog linked to in your profile, it’s not just me you’re keeping away. Go make the change and then come back.
Back? Epic ^_^
To me, the letter A only stands for two things. Agent or Alpha. For me, that makes this a no-brainer because so much of my current free time is spent looking for a literary agent. Okay, I suppose A also stands for Apple, Arwen, Arkansas, Amalgamation…hmm…stopping now. Anyway, I thought it convenient that along with day ‘A’ of the challenge, Shelly Waters is holding an epic follower contest/blogfest where the grand prize is…a full manuscript request from a literary agent.
Not just any agent. Suzie Townsend of Fine Print Literary Management. Someone who I would send chocolates and Starbucks gift cards to if it meant getting my manuscript in front of her. Oddly enough, it doesn’t mean I’d send a synopsis, which is part of her submission requirements, which is why I haven’t queried her yet. But I’m writing one, just in case this sneaky circumvention of the system doesn’t work. Because I have heard (and seen proof of in her blog and tweets) that this woman is an epic agent.
Anyway, the point of today’s exercise is to post my one line, 140-character (Tweet length) novel pitch. I’m hoping for feedback that will allow me to keep it under 140 characters, and then I cross my fingers that I stand out in a sea of dozens of other amazing pitches for fantastic stories. (oddly enough, pitch does not start with ‘A’).
So…here it is:
Title: Uriel’s Fall
Genre: Urban Fantasy
Word Count: 70,000 words
Pitch: Surrounded by gods and archangels who refuse to tell her the truth, Uriel learns the price of reality can’t be covered by a good tip.
Alternate pitch: A freshly-minted angel discovers truth is subjective and must figure out whose version of reality is least likely to kill her.
oooo Good luck! Honestly, one of these days I’ll have a finished novel and be able to take part in some of these fun contests.
I actually like the second one a little better because of some of the word choices. The tip part threw me off a little in the first one. Like, I’ve read a bit of it so I kind of know what you mean but it would seem weird for someone who knows nothing of the novel besides the pitch.
I’d go with the second one. From the point of view of someone who has read the whole book, the first one works, but to someone fresh to it, the second is more alluring and tells you more about the story.
I so hope you win! Fingers and toes crossed over here….
Hi Loralie .. by the look of it Kate has her finger on the pulse .. the main thing I do hope you find an Agent soon .. they’re like gold dust! Cheers Hilary
Hey Loralie! Like the others, I’m a fan of the second one. Definitely more of a catchy vibe, and gets to the point right off the bat 🙂
Hope that helps!
Best of luck with the whole agent thing. Keep your positive outlook.
GigglesandGuns
I like the second one better. It gives a better idea about the conflict in the story.
The bandwaggon looks comfy, so I’m hopping on. The second pitch is tighter and has more at stake than the first. Very nice.
I thought the first pitch line was awesome, and the second was great too. Best of luck in the contest!! Looking forward to rocking the A-Z with you 🙂
Wow, I totally love the second pitch. The first one is confusing with the trip thingy but the second one is AWESOME! I have nothing to say other than —> Yay! Oh, and good luck! 😀
The second pitch is better, imo.
I like the second one better, but is it just me? Or are angels, by nature, already dead? Otherwise, you’ve identified your character and given a hint of the conflict, so you’re heading in the right direction!
Thanks everyone 😀
@Mara – interesting point. I have a couple of extra characters to play with so I’m changing ‘kill’ to ‘destroy’. Sounds more epic, anyway ^_^
I’m with the majority. The second one is golden! 🙂
I’m in favor of the second one, too. It provides more background information and has a much better hook.
I’m also going with the second one…Found you from the A-Z Challenge, it sounds like it’s going to be a lot of fun, with maybe with a little bit of stress thrown in!! I’m now following you on GFC and I hope you have a chance to check out my blog!
Monica
http://oldermommystillyummy.blogspot.com/
I like the second pitch as well – it gives more clarity than the first
Best of luck with that !
The tip part made me pause because I wondered what kind of tip you were talking about…$ tip, advice tip. So my vote is the 2nd pitch. A little more evocative.
I like the second one, too. “Freshly-minted angel” is great, and it really lays out the stakes (something can kill her!) The only thing I’d change would be to work her name in if possible.
Second one for sure!
Good luck!
I’m with everyone else on this one. I love the second one. Great job & good luck!! 🙂
Stopping by to wave hello and to give my two cents about your pitches – I like #2 as well. Good luck with the challenge!
They’re both good, and they both have issues. I would like a mixture of both:
Surrounded by gods and archangels who refuse to tell her the truth, must figure out whose version of reality is least likely to kill her.
Second one definitely sets up the conflict with clarity. Very nice.
I’m with my cohorts. I like the second one ;o) It pops more. I’m not sure about “truth is subjective,” but I’m not sure what I’d put in its place either… This is really good ;o)
Thanks for participating! I really like the second one. Great job and good luck with the contest!
I like the first one, it’s a great quip and I’m a sucker for clever lines like that 🙂
I really like the 2nd one. Job well done.
I like the second one also. Have you considered self publishing? I’d buy this book tomorrow if it was available in Apple iBooks 🙂