*Waves* Hi to everyone stopping by for the A-Z challenge, or from anywhere ^_^. As a brief recap, I write, and I write about writing, and so my theme during the month of April is…donuts. Er…my writing journey.
I got a phone call from my favoritest recruiter yesterday. He’s gotten me a job interview with a company I was really hoping would want to talk to me. The job description is just about perfect for what I do so…fingers crossed. Besides, severance will only last me so much longer.
It’s been an interesting mental roller-coaster. Being laid-off (as opposed to fired) is real similar to submission rejection. Neither one is personal, both are business decisions, but something in the back of the affected person’s mind still knows that it didn’t happen to everyone and makes them wonder what they could have done to be on the other side of that determining line.
Because doubt is a powerful corrosive substance. If it could be bottled, it would be the most amazing car engine/bathroom cleaner in the existence of everything. Once you start down the ‘okay, so I’m probably good, just not good enough’, it rapidly descends into the ‘okay, so I’m probably delusional and only in the top fifty percent’ category and then plummets head-first into ‘all right, I’m the person literary agents and publishers cringe to read emails from because I’ve made every mistake in the book (no pun intended), and am too delusional to recognize it’.
But that’s what’s awesome about surrounding ourselves with people we trust. I’m not talking about the people who tell us we’re awesome just because they’re kind or our mothers (today’s D word was going to be ‘Deception’ but I couldn’t summon the venom to dive into that. Not that mothers are bad people or that all mothers sugar-coat things or that your mother is deceiving you, really it’s just a common phrase used to prove a point and…hmm…stopping now). I’m talking about the kind who tell us we’re awesome because they mean it, and when we’re not awesome, break it to us in the most encouraging way possible.
And help us work through doubt when we can’t do it on our own. Because we are our own biggest critics. Unless you’re that one person on American Idol every year who makes the outtakes because you believe you are God’s gift to music and that Simon Cowell, or Stephen Tyler, or whomever, is tone deaf and not worth the billions of dollars the recording industry pays them just for breathing. Then I’m your biggest critic and…{insert something snarky that doesn’t make me sound like too horrible a person to be around}.
A few months back I would have told you I didn’t have any of those. I would have sworn no one was there to ease my doubt except for my Sweetie. It’s not true, and I take it back.
And yeah, I have just enough ego that when I’m wallowing in doubt, I go read some of my favorite stories I’ve written and remind myself I love them, and they are unique, even if only me and my hard drive know it ^_^ Oh, and make cookies. I have some dough in the fridge right now that I think I’ll call ‘doubt removal sugar cookies’ (because I forgot to buy chocolate chips).
Doubt plagues us all at some point. What do you do to get past it? Do you prefer to commiserate with others or push through it with meditation or something else entirely?
Whenever I got a rejection letter I used to stomp about and rant about how the editor wouldn’t know a good thing if it was shoved up their ***, and then wallow in ice cream and chocolate.
Then I read Stephen King On Writing, and he has kept all of his rejection letters. It kind of turned things around (I urge you all to read that book). Now, when I get a rejection letter I think “Ok, so that wasn’t what you were looking for. Well, I’m going to submit to every call you have until I do hit the right note with you.” Much healthier!
Doubt certainly gets to me sometimes. I usually call one of my writing friends–and she tells me that I’m good enough and I just need to keep working. She’s a miracle, and I so grateful to have a friend like her.
Fear (doubt) is the mindkiller! (Frank Herbert)
I believe that without exception, successful people are simply too stupid to realize they could fail.
Be stupid. Be ignorant. Ignore that doubting voice. You’re the best. Your cookies ROCK! You weren’t laid off, you were given the opportunity to chase your dreams!
I try to remain optimistic and don’t always succeed. Problem is, I’m smart enough to know I can fail. Here’s to hoping you do a better job of being stupid enough to succeed.
Dumb it down, dumb it down, and you’ll be surprised at how fast the doubt fades.
😉
– Eric
This was a lovely post. Thank you.
Hello – stopped by from the a-z challenge. so nice to find you. Self-doubt is so deadly to our well-being. It used to rule my life, but I’ve gotten better at catching it and learning to shift that negative energy. Good luck with that.
Karen
Good choice on the topic. I do get doubt sometimes, shocking I know. Both in real life (living at parent’s house as an adult doesn’t help) and in writing. I wonder what I’m going to do with those 200+ followers now and why in the world should they be listening to me on writing. Then again, I have great people like you who help me see that maybe my stories will be good enough one day (you know, when I finish something). *hugs*
Doubt is a daily companion, especially as a mother. You always feel like you’re not doing enough, or not doing the right things. But you just have to get through it. You can’t be everything to everyone, so accept your limitations, enjoy what you do and knock doubt on the head with a hammer every time it starts rearing its ugly head.
Even if 100 000 agents/editors/readers don’t appreciate your work, there will always be 1000 000 (have I gone zero crazy today???) who probably will. You just haven’t found them yet….. Neither have I. But if I let doubt cripple me, what would I do?
Now… Where did I leave that darn hammer?
Doubt is indeed powerfully corrosive. Do keep your head up, and all the best!