Kristin @ Kristin Creative is hosting an awesome blogfest today to celebrate reaching 300 followers. Go check it out, read the other posts from the other participants, and absorb some of the fantastic motivations ^_^ The premise is pretty straightforward. You’re familiar with a time capsule, right? This is a similar concept. Write a letter to yourself to read a couple of years down the road.

Here goes nothing. Let’s see what I have to say to me…

Dear Futurized Lori Person,

People frequently discuss having distinct memories of where they were when certain things happen. Not just media related things – 9/11 or the space shuttle Columbia disaster – but personal things. The night I was proposed to. Both of them. Deciding to buy a home. My first car.

I have to wonder if this point in my life will be one of those distinct memories. I’m at three separate crossroads – personal, professional, and creative, and they all intersect more intricately than they ever have before, and involve more people than ever before (because anything larger than one is more).

You’ve been through your first work layoff ever, from what you swore was the perfect job. You’ve replaced it with something you’re uncertain of that quite honestly terrifies you on so many levels. You could have taken that other job. The one that would have called on all your technical expertise and allowed you travel the world and see vast third-world countries. And that would have been playing it safe to you.

You’ve dived deeper into your writing than ever before. You have new skills and talents and have finally reached a point where you’re actually starting to get good enough to polish your stories. Which is funny considering ten years ago you were ready to publish that first story. Perspective is an awesome thing.

And on a personal level…can we forget the depression and anxiety for a moment? Remember what this wrought on us? The kinds of highs and lows associated with the previous two paragraphs?

You know that Hoobastank song I really love? ‘Crawling in the Dark’?
“I will dedicate
And sacrifice my everything for just a second’s worth
Of how my story’s ending
And I wish I could know if the directions that I take
And all the choices that I make won’t end up all for nothing“

That’s been my one single wish for more than a decade. Just a taste, a hint, a whisper of whether or not I’m making the right choices. Moving in the right direction.

And for the first time since that concept entered my head, I can honestly say it’s not a craving any more. Too much time is lost worrying about the future. In writing. In work. In life. There’s something tantalizing about not being able to second-guess what my actions will bring in the future. Before I started this letter, I thought about asking you to write back. Forget that. Surprise me.

For you, I hope you finished more of those stories that linger in your skull. Got them on paper. Started trusting yourself and your closest friends and went with what you wanted to do instead of what everyone else said you would do. I hope you managed to cling to this current clarity that has escaped me for so long. I hope you experienced every single moment of this current confusion and lived it to its fullest and reveled in the memories and possibilities they presented.

And I hope that when you look back on this period of your life as one of those that stands out. Is distinct enough that you understand the vague references in here two, or five, or ten years down the road. And that it’s because you learned and grew from the experience and used your knowledge to come out on top.

I’ll see you in a few years, in the mirror. Until then…

Laters x
Present Tense Me