I don’t usually do the weekend posting thing, especially on Saturdays. But this is to help a fantastic blogger celebrate her birthday. It’s not completely selfless, there’s wicked cool prizes involved, but even if there weren’t, I’d be in for this one.
So Gabriela Lessa is throwing a huge birthday bash today, and sharing the fun with all of us. The basic details (Click here for a full run-down):
“…Post the first 312 words of your manuscript on your blog. Just the first 312! It doesn’t matter if it ends midsentence, that’s ok. But please be sure to count! 312 words, not one more, not one less! Oh, and don’t add things like “chapter one”. Just start where the story starts and go 312 words from there, stopping wherever you…”
So…Here goes…(and apparently due to a fortunate twist of fate, 312 words for me is not only the end of a sentence, but the end of a paragraph)
Title: Uriel’s Fall
Genre: Paranormal Fantasy
Status: Finished
Cherubim longed for a name; a label to give it shape and definition like the seraphim it admired from a distance. Without a name it had no solid form, and therefore no senses. Images and voices bounced in its thoughts, painting a picture of their own.
It didn’t know if the other cherubim felt the same way. No one ever talked about it, so it also kept silent. But Cherubim loved to linger in the ethereal corridors of the creator’s heaven absorbing the day-to-day of the angels with bodies, personalities, and genders. It wondered what color eyes it would have. Would they be violet like Gabriel’s or maybe sapphire blue like Michael’s? And what kind of things would it be able to see with those eyes? Or feel with real fingers?
“Little one.” The voice echoed in its head.
Cherubim sought out the owner, recognizing him as one of the creator’s most powerful. Lucifer. It knew this one better than almost any. His name struck awe and fear in any cherubim. He never interacted with them; never gave them a reason to change their perspective.
It focused on the archangel, indicating its attention.
“I’ve seen you watching the seraphim.” His intent was difficult to read.
Was it in trouble? Cherubim tried to keep the fear at bay and failed.
“It’s all right. It’s why I’m talking to you. Would you like to be one of them?”
Really? It could have that? It would do anything for that.
“No need to promise away things you don’t understand yet. I have a name here, just for you. You have to agree to one thing first, though.”
Yes, of course. Anything. Hadn’t Cherubim already agreed to that?
Lucifer’s laughter echoed in its head. “I’ll have to teach you to curb your enthusiasm. You have to agree that you report to me, and no one else.”
And now that you’re done here, don’t forget to go read everyone else’s entries. Awesome good stuff ^_^.
I like this opening. It feels kind of like a prologue (but then, I’ve read the whole book, so I know what happens next), but actually adds something, unlike most prologues. This is what the book was missing. The context.
This is very juicy. I want more.
I have comments on the chapter but I’ll wait. 😉
I like this part, I promise.
I felt distant from your characters and don’t know why. You clearly have an interesting setting/ideas. I wish I could be more helpful. Perhaps if I read further into the story I would be drawn in.
Maybe because I love this whole story of good versus evil but I was really drawn in. I would absolutely read more just to find out if the cheribum becomes…well, what it becomes:)
Seriously gave me chills. I wanted to shout ‘RUN’ knowing nothing good can come from what it wants to do…. Definitely want more.