My A-Z theme for the month of April is romance and the modern, technology-driven cubicle dweller (like me).
A lot of my posts this month have focused on two specific parts of interaction and how they merge, blend, and sometimes stand in for one another, especially in today’s world. I’ve talked a lot about…well…talking, and implied a lot about touching.
But there’s more to communication than talking, and communication is key in any long-term romance. Sure, you can have a fling that’s all based on looks and lust, but if you want it to last…at least that’s how I feel about it.
And there are three v’s to communication, conveniently enough. And verbal is only the first. Verbal would be the words you say. And believe it or not, in face-to-face communication, this is the least important out of the three. I think that’s one reason things like email and texting have numbed us to how we interact with other people. With just the words, there’s so much meaning lost. The connection isn’t there.
Then you have vocal. Which sounds a lot like verbal, but has a lot more to do with the tone of voice you use. My kitties know this one all too well. If they hear a certain tone of voice when I speak to them – especially if the syllables are similar to those they’ve heard in the past, but not always, they know they’re getting fed, being scolded, getting affection, etc. And really, it’s the same for us, even if we do understand the words. “That dress does amazing things for your curves.” Takes on a very different meaning if said in a low, seductive tone, versus a flat sarcastic one.
And speaking of. The biggest part of in-person communication, and the reason that in the end it still wins out over digital (unless you’ve got a video chat going on, and even then it’s no the same), is visual. Body language. Most of us know the basics. Crossed arms usually means someone is being stand-offish, leaning closer usually means interest.
But there’s so much to the visuals we never even think about, that we process all the time. For instance, “That dress makes your curves look fantastic.” If it’s accompanied by eyes sweeping over you, a tiny smile on their face, and that low, sultry voice, that’s enough to evoke chills. (Hopefully the pleasant kind, depending on the person delivering the line :-P)
This is why I don’t think digital communication, regardless of how prolific it becomes, can ever completely replace a face-to-face interaction, especially when it comes to romance. What do you think?
PS: I’m holding a pre-release party for my upcoming novel, with door prizes (including gift cards), so if you want, jump over to the post, and get a free Rafflecopter entry just for checking it out ^_^
