In case I hadn’t said so yet, I am once again in the middle of a major revision of a story I proclaimed done just a couple of months back. I’ve set aside all my other projects to focus on this one. I didn’t think I would at first. I thought I might peck at it a little and then move back to my sekrit project, or my ‘these characters have haunted me since the beginning of time’ idea.

But no. I’m knee deep in Uriel’s Fall…again…still.

And then I read this from Nathan Bransford. And this from Michelle at Operation Awesome. A post and a follow-up about whether or not to shelve that novel. Should you stick it in a drawer and love it as the story that will never be distributed to thousands, or should you keep trying?

This is a question I’ve asked myself many times. And Michelle’s question made me wonder, why do I keep trying on this one? I have other novels I’ve shelved. I’ve torn apart to the point where they’re no longer the original story. I’ve refused to admit even exist. Why do I keep going back to this one?

Is it because the people who have read it loved it? That’s part of it. But I have other novels I can’t even touch any more that readers loved.

Is it because I’m in denial? Maybe. Possibly. I don’t think so, but…that’s the nature of denial, right?

I don’t think it’s anything tangible. There’s nothing I can point it to except instinct. That, and I still have the compulsion to work on it. Regardless of the fact that I’ve done at least one major overhaul already, and several minor ones, it still calls to me. I still like it, want to work on it, and want to see it shine and become what I know it can be.

It doesn’t feel complete, and I believe I have the story in me that it needs to be complete. If I couldn’t find the solution. If I stared at it and said ‘it’s just not right, but I don’t know how to fix it’, then it would be time to shelve it. Temporarily or permanently would all depend on whether or not that solution ever presented itself in a viable way.

So, like the guy/girl that you can’t quite get over because there’s just some chemistry there and the reason you split up wasn’t because you didn’t adore each other but just because circumstance made being together the wrong thing at that time, I’m still seeing this story. It haunts my mind, makes me ponder if it will ever be, and gives me hope for something greater in the future.

And for now, it’s worth that kind of attention.

And if anyone is interested, I’m looking for a beta reader for this new revision of Uriel’s Fall. My CP’s are taking a look at it for those technical things, but I wouldn’t mind an overall impression as well from an almost stranger who has no vested interest in my feelings, but enjoys the genre, and hasn’t heard the story a million times already. Think contemporary fantasy (because really, even though it’s about angels and Norse gods and Greek heroes, and takes place in modern here and now Atlanta, it doesn’t have any of those other elements like crime fighting butt kicking that a typical urban fantasy has so I’m not calling it that anymore). Any takers?