I have three novels, each in at least finished first draft form. One of this is about gods and angels.

Original, right?

I know, not really. I keep hearing things like ‘angels are the new vampires’. I’ve seen proof, too. Every other book I see in the fantasy section has a sexy angel chick, or a sultry demon dude on the cover. Some even have both. I haven’t read any of these. I’ve watched some of the movies, I’ve read some of the dust jackets. I actually do have one book with ‘angels’ in the title that I’m really liking, but it doesn’t count because it doesn’t follow what I’m about to discuss. It’s more of a…’Devil and Daniel Webster’ kind of thing. Sort of.

Which reminds me (tangent). That was made into a cartoon feature film, right? Because I swear I remember watching it at my public library every single Halloween when I was younger. I’m going to go look that up when I’m done here.

Back to my point. Why I’ve never read any of these. Let’s play Madlibs for a minute, shall we?

______(proper noun) has always been different. It isn’t enough that _______(tragic event) when she was a child, but now she sees ________(suerpnatural beings) that no one else does. As an adult, she’s a reckless _________(law enforcement or other investigative profession) who takes more risks that she should in order to try and ignore the curse that haunts her. But when she meets _________(Proper noun), she realizes danger isn’t the escape she’s always enjoyed it as, and that there may be a reason for _________(supernatural gift) beyond just aggrivating her.

You know you’ve read that book…and you know I’m looking straight at you. How many different titles does it have on your bookshelf?

Here’s version two:

_______(biblical woman’s name) is just a lost confused young mother who’s not looking forward to raising her child alone. When strange things start happening to her and her unborn baby/young child (circle one), she discovers her baby is the one good/evil (circle one) who can save/destroy (circle one) mankind. Now she has to decide who to trust, and hope that God/Satan (circle one) will hear her prayers and keep her child safe.

I have yet to pick up a movie/book about sexy young angels/demons/nephelim that doesn’t follow one of these formulas. Even (as much as I love the story and it is a key inspiration in my writing life) American Gods follows the formula. It just hides it a lot better.

Here’s my blurb (working format still, don’t hate)
Uriel has been raised since she was a cherub to be successor to the great and might Lucifer: an advocate for humanity and a counter-balance to the archangel Gabriel. As she begins to spend time amongst humanity, she realizes what she thought her job was and what she was actually created to do are two very different things. Torn between the loyalty instilled in all of Jehovah’s angels, and ancient gods with good advice and bad intentions, she’ll need to decide which is right, or if she should be giving credence to the voice in her head

No end of the world scenarios. No choice between good and evil. No shirtless sexy demons. Though, I’ll admit I’m pretty fond of Loki and Ace…sexy yes, demons or shirtless, no.